Lily's Journal

February 1, 2011

Things never go as planned. You wake up one morning and find that the sun doesn't lift your mood like it used to, but then, that could also be because you're dealing with things that can't be forgotten. Believe me, I've tried. What do you do when the secrets that haunt you aren't even yours?
You see, I once had a boyfriend who I loved wholeheartedly. His blue eyes, his voice; everything about him was wonderful. I still remember one of the last conversations we shared:


“Would you love me no matter what?” He asked as we lay on the bed and watched the shadows dance on the ceiling.
“What do you mean? Would I love you if you cheated on me? No! …If you broke my heart? Probably not…. But if you were sick or dying? Of course, I would love you.” I froze. “Are you sick?”
He shrugged. “You could call it that.”
I rolled onto my side and looked at his tan skin and vibrant eyes. “You’re not dying are you?”
He laughed. “I’m far from dying.”
I bit my lip, “What is it then?”


I really wish that I had heard his response, but he whispered it so quietly that I couldn't catch it and he refused to repeat it. That moment would lead up to one of his biggest secrets. The one that has haunted me the most.
Seeing Sebastian earlier tonight at Jake's party only reminded me of all the things that I've tried to forget, but I'll have to save the rest of that story for another time. My phone is ringing.

~Liliana